i was searching through "artsy" blogs today and came across a phrase... "turn off the computer. make art." over at http://www.DirtyFootprints-Studio.com kinda took me by surprise. i spend hours a week surfing through creative blogs and websites searching for inspiration and ideas. why? as far as i see it, creative types of people blog for two reasons- to inspire others and to show their work. of course it can be a good thing to spend time admiring the art of others- for them and you. but am i using it as an excuse?
i think that maybe i don't trust my creative intuition. i'm sure this lack of trust in myself is not limited to my creativity. it follows me around in my daily life. i've always struggled with being who i want to be or who i think i'm meant to be vs. who i should be or who i'm expected to be. i want to be loved for who i am. i do. so, if i'm not allowing myself to be me, what am i asking of people?
i honestly don't know how to let go. i have a strong desire to do things right the first time, for things to be perfect every time. maybe perfection is relative. i've been told i'm my worst critic and i think this is true for most people. i KNOW i'm a creative person. i KNOW there are ideas in my head. what i don't know is how to access those ideas and then how to trust them. every once in a while i get really attached to a creative idea or a line for a poem and i allow myself to follow through. most of the time, though, i blow it off. when i sit down to do a project, i don't think i'm really letting go. no, i know i'm not. anyone have advice for trusting and believing?
hopefully this will help. i commit to spending some time every day working on a project or poem or song. even if i'm not in the mood, even if i feel like i have no good ideas or thoughts, i will work on something.
one more thing. while i am a little bit afraid of failure (it's hurtful to be told something you made is not good enough), i think i'm more afraid of success. what if i write a couple of really good poems and then there's no more good ones in me? what if i write the book that's been floating in my head and i can't write another? what if i only get 2 good art pieces out of 100? what if i can't match up to myself?? people who make it in this world aren't afraid of no. when they have a dream or passion, they push themselves. they get better and someone eventually notices. why can't i be one of them?
I just read a book about practicing creativity which might help you "let go." The idea was to take a principle such as symmetry and execute one design several ways to illustrate multiple types of symmetry. Or use various color schemes, etc. I think committing time is crucial. And I don't think it matters what other people think or how "good" it is. Does it make you happy? Then it's perfect.
ReplyDeletethanks sarah!
ReplyDelete